LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS SUCK
Long distance relationships suck, but not all the time. Being in a long distance relationship has ultimately helped me grow as a person on my own. Sometimes we can get so caught up in our significant other that we get lumped together into one blob. Think about that for a minute. Do you know of any friends of yours who are like that with their significant other where they lose themselves? Being long distance can help prevent that because when you’re on your own, you’re forced to find new hobbies and friends. Yes, you can eventually share those hobbies or friends with your significant other, but it’s something you decided to do on your own. I think that’s pretty awesome! For example, I started sewing way more than I ever did when I was with Andrew all the time and when we aren’t long distance I’m still going to continue sewing as often as I do now. It’s a passion of mine that I want to continue.
Being long distance gives you ample time to sit and think about what YOU want for the relationship without the pressure of having someone else around. Being able to have time to think about what you want for your relationship’s future is SO important. I think that having time to yourself to do some soul searching is very much needed in every relationship, long distance or not. Take a mini vacay to a spa in Sedona or something and truly take time for yourself. Trust me, it’s going to be so beneficial for you as a whole and for your relationship.
This is me talking more positively, but I definitely believe that taking time apart can also show you what you want in a significant other that maybe you’re not getting with your current significant other. I’ve done long distance relationships twice before the relationship I’m currently in, and both ended because we wanted different things. I had time to think about what I wanted for the future and that future wouldn’t have happened if I stayed with those people. I know this can seem daunting and scary but what’s scarier is not even trying. I love asking questions on my Instagram and many of you guys responded with messages about having friends who weren’t even going to try and be in a long distance relationship at all. To me, that’s crazy! If it’s the right person, then you can make it work, BUT you’ve got to be willing to put in A LOT of work. I don’t regret the long distance relationships I’ve had in the past that didn’t pan out. I’m glad I was able to try. Those relationships helped shape me into the person I am today and helped me find what I need to have in a long distance relationship. So in the words of Ariana Grande, “thank you, next.” Long distance relationships will truly test you, in ways you didn’t even think were possible. The number of times I have cried for no reason except for the fact that I was lonely is one way!
It’s difficult being sad and upset and not having someone to console you in person. BUT what’s really awesome about long distance relationships are how they really make you appreciate the time you do get with your significant other when they visit. Fighting just seems stupid when you only have a couple days with your bae. The short moments you have with each other makes everything worth it, and, if they don’t, you should probably do some of that alone time soul searching.
I wanted to include two of my biggest tips and tricks that have significantly helped in my long distance relationship.
SCHEDULE A TIME TO TALK
By scheduling a time to talk to your significant other over the phone or via FaceTime, Skype, or whatever you have, a set time for that event to happen is extremely important. It helps to schedule it so that both parties have it planned. I remember before when Andrew and I would schedule or talks, I would want to talk when he was busy and I would get really upset because I felt like he didn’t want to talk to me. Clearly, that wasn’t the case, it was just that he had other things going on I didn’t know about or he planned things last minute. When you have something scheduled you know to plan around it. Also, this doesn’t mean you have to schedule every call you ever make, but it does mean that if you don’t, be willing and okay with the other person having to go.
DO SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN BOTH DO TOGETHER
This can be tricky but a great example I have of this is that Andrew loves to game. So he’s always on Discord talking to friends. PS: Discord is normally where I call him so he can game and talk to me on the phone. It’s all about balance baby, BUT I decided that I would play World of Warcraft with Andrew and we could talk to each other over discord but play a game together. It seriously kept the relationship fun without being together, even though we were together in the game. So my tip is to find something that you can both do together, that isn’t actually together.
So many of you guys messaged me you were in long distance relationships and I was truly shocked that there are that many people out there doing the distance, haha. I would love to hear your tips and tricks to being in a long distance relationship in the comments below!
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